I apologize for not posting for the past couple of days. Fact is I wrote a post on a trip to Kerela/TN I made this week and wanted it to be a photo blog, just that I never got to upload the pics and so the draft remains.. :) Meanwhile, let me update you about what's been happening on the work front.
After weeks of joblessness ( I feel like I've said this sooo many times!) I landed 3 projects, all extremely intellectual sounding and all pretty much useless.
I feel like a 3 year old who's being distracted by her mom "Look, there!" And I look and I look to see what's there... realising that she's making a fool out of me but thinking "It's still better than having nowhere to look!"
The projects were aimed at 'adding value', 'aiding process improvement', 'analysing business profitability' and ' analysing the course of research direction'. Sounds super even now, even when I know that the value cannot be added, the process is being improved already, the business profitability is being analysed by people far smarter than me and the course of research does not exist to be analysed.
Nevertheless, I'm glad about this fake sense of being busy. And I've decided that I'm going to blow people over with my presentation! If nothing else, it'll make me feel better about the time I've spent here. :)
So a few days back, I opened an excel, made a process flow chart, asked my neighbour (an excel champ) on how to make macros. Made a few successfully, changed the colors and formatted it real nice. Added a PERT diagram (Ha! See I did some research!!) to evaluate and review critical paths of an activity and then, well... stopped.
My analysis was complete and there was still no headway in what could be done. Most people I spoke to said the improvement wasn't needed in the first place and that it would bring no tangible benefit. Well.. as if I wasn't sure of that already.. :(
But I don't let small hindrances like a futile project with a useless conclusion trouble me. I'm all set to making a ppt now. Gasifying it to the core using terms I learnt from the MBA Jargon Generator and making it sound as if I really make a lot of sense.
You know what my favorite term is? 'Continuous Improvement'.
Frankly it means you can't do a thing today to get results tomorrow. Just recommend, hope for things to fall into place and make your exit while you can.
I think I'm going to do the same.. :)
6 comments:
hmm... I hope the HR ppl are not readin this post and chuckling to themselves, "Now we know what link to open when young MTs come to us for bonus"...
and excel macros?? way to go...
and oh, ur 'jargon generator' reminded me of a post i had written looooong back...
http://kirukukiruku.blogspot.com/2006/06/videshi-jargon-manch.html
(shameless self promotion... but it is ok since this is a marketer's blog)
you should feel proud of yourself and highlight these as your tangible achievements during your performance appraisals... after all you are adding value to the company's bottomline through continuous process improvement there by improving customer satisfaction and ultimately your company's perceieved national worth...
On a totally unrelated note, you have to be really daft to get distracted by your mom that way when you were 3 years old!
-Avi
cmon now look at the positives....these kinda "value-add" projects really work...see they added so much "value" to ur excel skills...macros n all...am sure u must have had macro classes in Bschool...but u see the power of such "futile yet fruitful" projects !! made u a champ..excel champ ;-)
I would simple say one thing - your project is better than mine! :(
Aah.. i know this feeling of hopelessness when you're assigned a dirty job that no one wants to do but everyone knows that it must get done.. and the best i have ever gotten is projects with teams who themselves dont see why we shud be doing any improvement anyway... and one lady's remark was even better.. koi aur kaam nahin hain kya... and with that remark.. i went back to my boss and got off that initiative.. :D
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